Relationship Tips

 

KEEP THE SPARK IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP COACHING TIP: #3 

3 Steps To Prepare To Have A Difficult Conversation & 4 Steps to Have That Covnversation Peacefully

 Before you do anything, quickly get rid of any surface tension that is interfering with what you hear and understand.

Take a slow, deep breath in through your nose so your belly expands like a balloon, hold it for as long as is comfortable and then breathe it out through your mouth. (This doesn’t have to be a major production.  Just breathe one time in a more relaxed way.  You can’t be tense and relaxed at the same time. You are preparing for something difficult so if you need to give yourself a few more breaths, be generous with yourself.)

  1. Privately, define the problem from your perspective and outline what you want to happen instead of that problem.
  2. List at least 3 things you have done to contribute to the situation.  (Yes, it takes at least two to create a problem in a relationship as well as to heal it!)
  3. Invite the other person (people) to join you to consult about a situation you are having.

Start by asking everyone to relax and take a breath – the same kind you took before.  If you connect with a Divine Power, invite everyone to ask that Power for help in resolving this situation.

  1. Define the problem for the other person (people) by starting with ‘I feel _______________ when  _________________ happens” or something else that begins with “I….”.
  2. Say how you would like to feel and what you want to happen instead of what happens now.
  3. Explain what you think your role was in creating the problem and ask the other person how they see the problem.
  4. Take turns suggesting ways to resolve it so that the root cause is gone.  GONE!

 

Underlying thought:  8 times out of 10, if normal people of good will are involved, the problem was a misunderstanding or misinterpretation.  After you define the problem, it will be easy to clear it up.  If there is still a seemingly insurmountable problem, schedule a discovery session for coaching.schedule a coaching discovery session by calling 305-209-9002 today.