Are you lovable? Do you allow people to show you love? Do you invite it? Attract it?
“You can search the entire universe and not find a single being more worthy of love than you.”
‘Noble have I created thee, yet thou hast abased thyself. Rise then unto that for which thou wast created.’“ — Bahá’u’lláh
Do you believe this? Do you believe you are noble, worthy of love? Do you allow people to love you?
What does that mean? Most of us have a mask we show the world to hide the real us underneath.
The mask is usually pretty. It’s a projection of what we want other people to believe about us. It hides what we believe nobody would love. The mask tries to hush the little whisperer inside who says “Why are you even trying that? Just go back to bed.” or “You’re not good enough for him to love you.” It’s the voice that makes self-fulfilling prophecies, or that leads you to forget the one crucial step that would have made your endeavor successful. It’s the way you behave with someone you like that makes them miss the treasure that you are. Do you risk allowing someone you love to see beneath the mask?
It doesn’t matter how many people tell you that you are OK until you tell yourself and believe it.
In relationships, this feeling of unlovability manifests as people constantly attracting people who cannot love them – people who are already married or emotionally unavailable. Do you hate being alone so much that you sometimes date or even marry people you don’t want to be with?
“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with” – Wayne W. Dyer
How do you go from pretending you are the mask to genuinely liking the person you see in the mirror?
Try these 4 things by yourself, with a coach or with whatever help you need:
1. Sit or lie in a quiet place and let your thoughts wander towards accomplishing something you thought you could not do. What phrase do you hear in your head?
2. Remember the first time you felt or heard that phrase. Who said it? Why did you feel it?
3. Sometimes that phrase protects you from failure or danger when you are very young. You also wore diapers when you were very young and they were necessary. They aren’t necessary now, though, because you have changed. Do you still need that phrase?
4. What could you say to yourself instead? According to Shad Helmstetter Ph.D. in What to Say When You Talk To Yourself, cleaning out your mind of clutter is the same as cleaning your garage or closet. If you don’t put something beneficial in the newly empty space, the old tires, shoes or other negative thoughts will creep back in.
“Abundance is a property of letting go; that which is empty can receive.” Bryant H McGill
What would change in your life if the real you became so loved by you that the mask would no longer fit. You would need courage to risk being vulnerable. But, you were vulnerable before, you just weren’t able to see it.
“If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got,” Jesse Potter.
If you grow into your true self, you can choose happiness most of the time regardless of the circumstances.
“Everything comes to us that belongs to us if we create the capacity to receive it.” Rabindranath Tagore.
You know the difference you feel when you are around someone who is happy and confident or someone else who Is cautious or pretentious? They are on different wavelengths and there is no hiding it. Which people would you attract and be attracted to if you saw yourself as a whole, loved and lovable?
“Love cures people – both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.” Karl A. Menninger.
This is the journey of a lifetime – literally. You can get your life back in time to enjoy it!
Quotes for this article were taken from (Haden, n.d.) https://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/55-motivational-quotes-that-will-inspire-you-to-believe-in-yourself.html