WHAT DO YOU WANT TO EXPERIENCE IN THIS SITUATION?
Have you ever had a moment filled with relationship possibilities when you felt that you had to take some kind of action?
- Take a deep, slow breath and then ask yourself what you really want to feel/experience. In one – three words, describe what you want to feel – not think – and then allow yourself to experience that. It will probably be something simple, like “feel accepted”, “have escape fantasy”, “ feel cherished”, “enjoy myself” or something else.
- Do what ever (legal/moral) things you need to do that will allow you to wholeheartedly have that experience as long as you won’t hurt anyone else. Give yourself permission to feel it!
- If what you want to experience depends on someone else’s actions, both of you need to have a clear understanding of what is expected.
- Ask clear questions! No one can guess what you mean. It isn’t fair to expect someone else to know what you’re not sure of yourself.
- Listen to the answers with an open heart!
- What would be different for you and your love if you knew what you wanted to experience from any situation and created ways to make/allow that to happen? Try it this month!
Here is the beginning of a story relationship that’s filled with possibilities. What do you think should happen next for Aileen and Bernard? What do you want them to experience? Let me know, and I might use your ideas in the next episode.
Bernard shared alternate weekly custody of Clarissa (Bubbles) with his former girlfriend, Mel, and it was his week. The child was holding Bernard’s hand and helping push the cart filled with blankets, pillows, bug spray, a small first aid kit because Bubbles thought Band-Aids cured every sorrow, fruit, healthy sandwiches and organic drinks. When Bubbles saw Sophie, one of her friends from pre-school, she broke free and ran towards her. They were both wearing sparkly tutus and sparkly bows on their braids. The other little girl was holding her mother’s hand as the woman hugged the now slumped shoulders of the goddess who had just walked through the gate into the park. The goddess was still on the phone.
Bernard thought, ”O God. I’ve got a 4 year old. It had to be this week! What can I do?” It wasn’t difficult for him to imagine the goddess without her dress.
“Bubs, where ya goin’?” Bernard shouted. He rushed to follow her with the cart and introduced himself. “Hi. I’m Clarissa’s dad. You must be Sophie’s mom.” The girls were hugging.
They nodded and Sophie’s mom introduced herself, coolly appraising him. She briefly wondered what gym he frequented, but then gave her attention back to her distraught friend, who was still on the phone.
Bernard had just been given an opportunity and he wasn’t going to let it go. “Is there anything I can do to help?” Bernard said, softly, solicitously.
Her phone wasn’t on speaker but he could still hear a man’s loud, angry voice. There was silence and then the goddess put her phone away. A few tears began to run down her face and Sophie’s mom – Bernard had forgotten her name already – rummaged in her purse for something to wipe them with. She came up with a wrinkled napkin.
“I messed up again,” the goddess said, two tears trickling down her face. Between big gulps she said, “I’m supposed to be at Fairchild Park, not here – this is Founders Park. I’m supposed to be in Biscayne City, not on Biscayne Ave. The program already started. He said not to bother coming. It would take too long. He’s SO mad at me!”
“This one is too good to let him get away, Aileen. What did I tell you about writing down directions and using a GPS?”
“I thought I remembered. He could have written it down and given me directions.” She pouted. Aileen was getting herself together, now. She was even more beautiful when she was a little angry.
Aileen smiled at Clarissa and Sophie, who were holding hands. Bernard smiled at them, too and put his hand on Sophie’s neck to tickle her. He was frantically searching his mind for things to say, but the only thought that came up was, “She likes children! Thank God Bubbles is here! Did I bring Kleenex?”
Aileen’s thoughts were doing their normal spin. ” Jim is going to kill me. The girls look like princesses. I want to play with their hair! Jim is going to kill me. Why did I wear this dress? I don’t even like it. It makes me feel like a sausage. Jim always buys things that make me feel pretty in the store but I don’t like them later. He’s really going to kill me. Shoot! I don’t want to go home.”
Both little girls said “Stay with us!” simultaneously. Sophie’s mom had a large enough blanket for 3 but only had a bag of chips and 2 bottles of water. For once, it was good that Bernard always over prepared and he offered to share his abundance of food and drinks, his large comfortable picnic blanket, and a tablecloth to protect her dress, hoping for the best. Sophie’s mom warily suggested that they all sit together.
Aileen smiled at Bernard. “You all are so sweet, but I feel really dumb and I don’t want to mess up your evening.”
“Daddy says never to say that. About being dumb, I mean.” With that, Bubbles smiled up at Aileen and took her hand……..
V.N. Raspberry 2016